...Cars!

So, this is my blog. Welcome. To kick things off, i would like to review something that has become pretty commonplace in society: automobiles. Not any specific car, just cars in general. And i will go ahead and give you the grade I give cars

C-*

Transportation is important, i know that. I technically live 150 miles away from were i am currently sitting. Transportation is REALLY important. But cars really don't cut it when it comes to getting you places.

The basic fact is that the automobile is a product of its time. The car was first made sometime between 6000 BC and 2500 BC, as seen here:

Now this is a very basic car. Notice the lack of an engine. This mode of transportation was accomplished by the owner, and sometimes passengers, would pedal their feet wildly until the vehicle would move. This was wildly inefficient, but continued to be a popular mode of transportation until the early 1800s when it was replaced by the wildly popular bicycle (which receives a rating of A-).

The vehicle began to pick up steam, ironically, only when it was gasoline driven. This shift took place in 1870 when Austrian inventor Siegfried Marcus put a internal combustion system into a hand cart, making gas prices rise all over Vienna. In 1902, The Cadillac company was running an assembly line and making gas driven cars by the thousands. That's great and all, I am glad for Henry Ford. But, at the same time 2 brothers from Dayton, Ohio had just learned to fly (POP QUIZ: Do you know who else is from Dayton, OH?).** So where do cars fit in? We have bikes (A-) and airplanes (A+) and the reject of transportation, the car. If you want to go downtown - bike. If you want to go to Dayton, OH, take a plane (or change your plans, seriously. It's Dayton, OH).

So, without further history, here are my complaints with automobiles:

• Price: Not only do you have to pay beaucoups of cash to get one of these pieces of ancient history, you also have to buy gas all the time.
  
• Reliability: Cars are moody. They have gauges to let you know when its too cold or too hot. And if they get uncomfortable from being too hot, they won't start.
  
• Safety: How many people do you know that have crashed a car? Now, how many people do you know that have crashed an airplane? My point exactly.
• Theft: Have you played Grand Theft Auto? No. Ok, well the game's name makes my point. Grand Theft Auto - it's not that hard. Coupled with the Price complaint, this does not make a happy car owner.

Basically, when it comes down to it, i am human enough. I don't need my car to be moody too. I don't care if it is hungry or too hot. And i don't want it to get temperamental and lock me out. There are some redeeming qualities to cars, but i am out of time. So, you will have to think of those by yourself.

Next installment will be TJ Reviews...Toilets!

*Sorry, automobile industry. I heard you were having a hard time, but i just can't help you.
**Prudence, the bisexual girl from Across the Universe.